Giving Thanks

I have so many things to be thankful for this year. I am thankful for my huge family that provided me an incredible support system. I am thankful for my friends who let me vent, cry and helped me laugh when I needed it most. I am thankful for my wonderful husband who put up with my 3000 mood swings when I was completely stressed out (and still does.) I am thankful for my Jack. He is an incredible big brother and so supportive of his sister. I am thankful Ava is healing and she had two successful surgeries.

It is hard to believe it has been 5 1/2 months since Ava's first surgery and she has been cast free for 10 weeks. The day this whole process began I couldn't even imagine how we were going to get through it. But here we are! My baby is on the mend and every day she is getting stronger. We recently had a well visit at the doctor and I am thrilled to say she grew 3 inches!! For the first time since she was 1, Ava is on the charts. My heart exploded when I heard the news! I am so happy to see her moving in the right direction. We also had a follow up with Dr. A. Ava had a stand up x-ray to see how things look now that she is moving. The x-ray looked great and Ava's hips are looking good. She is continuing physical therapy and hopefully she will be walking normal again soon. Dr. A said she is healed now and gave us the go ahead to start getting Ava back into her normal routines. Yeah!! She's going back to school! We have a follow up visit in 3 months and we will then schedule the last of her surgeries to remove the plates and pins in her femur bones. I am not looking forward to another surgery but compared to the other two it should be a piece of cake.

I look forward to the next few months as Ava learns to move better and we can say she is 100% healed. I am in awe of her strength and watching her start to dance again makes me so incredibly happy. As a family we had a challenging few months but we made it through it together. I am so blessed to be a Mom of two awesome little people and so proud of both. Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for all the support! XOXOX

Progress...

I haven't posted much lately about Ava's progress but like everyone else in NJ we have been consumed with Hurricane Sandy. We are so thankful we were only without power for 4 days (wish I could do more for my friends who are STILL without) and even more thankful Ava was not in a cast when Sandy roared through! I'm positive our experience would have been very different! That being said, we are still taking each day one at a time. It has been 3 1/2 weeks since she took her first steps and her progress since has been amazing. I am so proud of her strength and her determination.

On October 28 Ava had her 5th birthday party, this was a turning point in her healing. She finally ditched her walker and did her best to keep up with her friends. To see my girl so happy and act like her old self was an awesome feeling. It still can bring tears to my eyes thinking about how happy she was that day (and has been since) while dancing with her friends. It was so nice to have some normal activity in our life. Being around her peers definitely has encouraged Ava to try harder and she has become more determined then ever to walk. Since that day she is walking around more and doing a lot less crawling. Monday when we went to Physical therapy, Miss Jill was very impressed with Ava's movement even though we missed a week (thanks Sandy.) The movement is there but now we need to work on strengthening her stomach and hip muscles to make the movements more fluid.

It has been almost 8 weeks since Ava's cast was removed. The difference from day one til now is amazing, although I'm not sure I expected it to take this long. Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly proud of the strides Ava has made but I just want my daughter to be herself again. I want her to walk without having to concentrate so hard, I want to hear the pounding of her little feet running around the house, I want her to be able to keep up with her friends and I look forward to the day my heart is not in my throat when she's around other kids because I'm so scared someone will knock her over. On the flip side my heart soars for all things she has relearned since surgery...kneeling, crawling. standing without help, getting up without help, starting to dance, peddling a bike and walking. The look of pride on her face after accomplishing a new task is priceless and the excitement she shows when showing off her new movement melts my heart. Tonight was another proud Mommy moment... for the first time Ava walked up a whole flight of stairs (holding the railing and my hand) alternating her feet on each step! This is huge!! She hasn't walked up stairs in almost 5 months!!!!

Ava and her friends.

I know soon enough Ava will be her old self (hopefully not as cranky since she seems to be pain free.) I can not believe it's been almost 8 months since her dislocation was discovered! I am thankful everyday for the doctor who finally discovered it and for the doctor who performed two amazing surgeries. I look forward (and as always) slightly nervous for November 16...Ava first x-ray standing up. Please, please let those hips be in place!! I pray for another perfect x-ray and that her doctor is happy with her progression. Please do the same! So incredibly proud of my amazingly strong girl!! XOXO

Birthday Girl

In honor of Ava's 5th birthday I made a slide show of her journey to help raise awareness. Ava had a hard time watching the beginning of the video, she does not want to see herself in a cast again. Hard to believe my baby girl is growing so quickly. I am so proud of her!! Enjoy! XOXOX

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVHOMIwHTOw

Step in the right direction...

Over the last week Ava has made huge progress. She is gaining more confidence in her legs and herself each day. The transformation day to day in amazing. I have lost count of the number of time tears have come to my eyes just watching her. Being home with Ava almost 24/7 over the last four months has been a whirl wind of emotions but over this week I can finally see the light. Ava has relearned to crawl, pencil rolls every where, scoots across the house on her bottom, gets up stairs, stands at the sink to brush her teeth and stands without assistance. In the past I took each of these achievements for granted, all children hit these milestones with out much fan fair. Heck 6 months ago Ava did all this without a thought. I now realize how precious life is, Ava has struggled and showed tremendous courage to achieve each and every milestone. As hard as it's been we are lucky to relive each one for a second time but this time she gets all the fan fair!

Yesterday was a huge leap in progress for Ava and excitement for our family. Of course the one day a week I work Ava decides it's the day...always in her own time. I received a text from David stating "Check my FB page." I knew instantly what this meant, Ava did something big. I'm the obsessive FB poster of the family documenting each and every step of Ava's recovery. This was big if David posted. There I was in the middle of the salon watching a video on my phone with tears streaming down my face. "My baby did it! She took her first steps!!" I can not even express  the joy I felt inside. One of my first thoughts was "Of course, on the one day I work." Then I became so excited for David, he has seen many of Ava first accomplishments in pictures or videos. This time he got to share the news! On 10/11/12 my girl took her first steps almost four weeks after her cast removal...there's no stopping her now.


Life is slowly but surely getting back to normal. In the last 24 hours Ava has practiced her walking skills over and over. I still watch in awe each time she takes a step. At times I feel sad to see her struggle just to take a few steps but then I see the determination on her face and I know she is so strong and brave. Ava is feeling so confident we even joined her Pre-K class Pumpkin picking today, I have to say it was nice to do something normal in our life. She had a blast seeing her friends and teachers and was so proud to show them how she is relearning to walk. Thank you once again to everyone who has been routing for Ava these last four months. It means so much to me and my family. Everyone has giving us so much strength and every kind word of encouragement touches my heart. We are almost there!!! All our love. XOXOXOX

In Her Own Time...

On Friday it will be three weeks since Ava had her cast removed. That morning she has an appointment with Dr. A for an x ray and to see how things are progressing. The change in Ava's movement over the last three weeks is incredible. Most of her pain has subsided and slowly but surely she is gaining confidence in her legs. Physical therapy is going well and has helped tremendously with rebuilding her leg and hip strength (although she still has a ways to go.) In true Ava form everything is happening in her own time... At PT Ava takes everything in Miss Jill shows her. She cooperates for the most part but often says "I'm tired" and wants to stop whatever exercise going on at the moment. Or other times she says "I can't do it. I'm scared." But when we get home, look out! Ava does everything Miss Jill showed her but on her terms. This kid is stubborn!! (Some say she gets that from me.) She doesn't want help and she really doesn't want anyone watching her. Ava has always been fiercely independent and this girl got her independence back! She is determined to regain her ability to walk and she's on the right path.

Crab walk.

This whole process has taken a toll on me that I had not expected. I knew it would not be easy but I didn't expect it to invade every inch of who I am. I am looking forward to life going back to normal (well a normal as normal gets.) I have become consumed  with her recovery. I forget things, I become anxious easily and I find it hard to find time to do things for myself (like exercise & I guess I'm not losing that 15 lbs for my upcoming 20 year HS reunion. Oh well!) At the same time I would not change it for the world. Watching the determination and strength Ava has helps me get through each and every moment. She's navigating territory that in the past was easy for her and watching her struggle can make me so sad. Then Ava gets a look on her face of such pride for her accomplishment that I quickly remember how strong my daughter is. In three weeks Ava has relearned to sit on her own, crab walk, bend her knees, crawl, pencil roll and pull her self up on things. She's slowly taking steps (with help), peddling a tricycle and kicking a ball. Her achievements are outstanding! Ava is on her way to being completely healed and will be up and running in no time. I can not say enough how proud I am of her! My daughter is AMAZING!!

Love this girl!

Physical Therapy

The change in Ava in the last 12 days is absolutely amazing. I never anticipated how hard it would be after her cast removal. Don't get me wrong, I knew she wouldn't get up and walk and I knew she would be stiff but I never expected the length of time it would last or how much strength she would need to rebuild. Not only does she have to recondition but she is also relearning what was normal to her. For three years Ava walked one way but now has to completely walk another. I can't even imagine how this must feel for her, now I completely understand why they prefer to perform this surgery at two years old opposed to a four year old. A two year doesn't anticipate or fully understand what is going on. The fear is not fully there yet and they are so curious they just move. My poor Ava anticipates pain and is scared when trying new exercises. She is fully aware of what is happening and bucks the system the whole way. She knows when she tries to stand or moves her legs it's going to hurt, not just a little but a lot.

Today was our fourth physical therapy session and what a difference! Last week when Ava met Miss Jill she barely wanted to do a thing and cried off and on. This week she's a changed girl. After our little discussion about cooperating or being put back in the hospital, Ava opted for trying harder (although she does test her limits.) At Monday's session she really fought baring any weight on her legs but today (with a little fight) she did it. (Yeah Ava!!) Miss Jill found her weak spot...swings!! In one of the PT rooms there is a giant swing and after cooperating Ava got to take a ride, the look of joy on Ava's face made the previous crying so worth it. My heart breaks every time Ava cries out "It hurts!" or "I'm scared!" but it soars when I see the look of pride she wears when she does something she thinks she can't do. Slowly but surely she is getting there. The strength Ava has with in her has truly shown no boundaries.

Crab walk.

Leg raises.

Sitting.

Pushing herself on big swing.

Everything takes time and I have to remind myself Ava has been through two major surgeries. Our days aren't always easy and there are moments when I feel like there is no end. Having to push Ava can be hard especially since she is usually talking back or resisting every step of the way. It's difficult for a four year old to understand that she needs to work through the pain to eventually be pain free. It's a whole new learning experience and all we can do is give her the tools to help her recover. As always, Ava is doing things in her time. (Gosh this girl is stubborn!) I'm so proud of my brave butterfly! Each day she is getting stronger and learning more of what her legs can do. All we can do is have lots of patience and help guide her as she relearns. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day!

It's been a week...

Ava has been cast free for a week now. Oh what a long week it has been! I knew this part of the journey would not be easy but I never expected it to be this difficult. Ava is scared! Scared to be moved, scared of being touched and wants no part of standing. She has been fighting us tooth and nail on her recovery. At least four nights this week Ava woke up screaming out in pain almost every hour! The lack of sleep has not helped and on top of it I got sick with allergy and sinus issues. My patience has been thin and I really just want to see my baby healed. Her cries and screams break my heart! I hate to see her in so much pain. Yes we give her pain medication  and we do whatever we can to make her comfortable but she does not make it easy for us. We're all tired. It's hard to get make a four year old understand that yes it hurts but the more you move through the pain the better you will feel. Oh the road ahead seems so long!

Ava is not sleeping well, cries in pain at physical therapy, complains her knees hurt and will not bear any weight on her legs. She moves around and can now bend her knees but she is using her arms and core to compensate instead of working the muscles in her legs and hips. Finally on Friday I called Dr. A with my concerns. He relieved my fears some by telling me knee pain is common due to the way she was casted and it could take weeks before the muscle pain is gone. He expressed concern about the lack of sleep and the fear of bearing weight on her legs. Bottom line Ava needs to get moving to progress to walking again. If by Monday Ava is not sleeping better and trying harder to move she will have to return to the hospital for pain management and physical therapy several times a day. Well guess what... all Ava had to hear is "hospital" and "IV" and her little attitude took a 360! Neither one of us wants to go back there so hopefully we finally got through to her how important it is to try harder. It's tough love time but as a parent it has to be one of the most difficult things. Nobody wants to see their baby in pain.

Working those legs!

Loving bath time!

Not so sure!!

 The last two nights Ava has slept better (oh so thankful!) and today she seemed to try a little more. We got her to do some exercises and when David helped her stand she managed to balance for a brief moment on her own. (Yeah!) When she sits in her chair her knees are sitting better and she seems to be moving her legs and feet around more. On a positive note bath time has come to be a favorite for all. Ava is so happy swimming around in the tub and almost all her dry skin has washed off. What a crazy ride this has been and unfortunately it is far from over. I pray tomorrow is a better day and Monday we will not have to return to the hospital. Ava is such a brave girl and I know how challenging relearning to walk must be for her. Hopefully things will only get better from here on out. My girl is on the mend and I can't wait to see those first steps!!