Anyone who knows me well knows I am a planner. I am extremely organized with maybe a touch of OCD, also I have the inability to sit still. Being a stay home Mom was never something I wanted, in fact I think I would go crazy. I love my kids but 24/7, not my cup of tea. Being a hairstylist has given me so much flexibility and allowed me to have the best of both worlds. I work part time which gets me out of the house but I also get time with my children. Last year I was able to be Jack's room Mom and I'm also able to be there to watch his sports. Besides working in a salon, I also do freelance work. Great thing about doing hair is you can do it anywhere and I can bring my kids if necessary. Recently I discovered I have a knack of baking cupcakes and it also has become a stress relief for me. I enjoy doing it and I've even made so extra money from it. I am so blessed that I have job I love and I get to be a hands on Mom.
Typically our weeks are jammed packed and I rarely have a moment to myself. Between making 3 squares a day, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, working, freelance work, drop offs, pick ups, play dates, sports practice, doctor appointments, homework, birthday parties, church...I never stop. Of course most of this I bring on myself. For some reason I think I'm super Mom. I have a hard time saying no and I guess I like to have complete control. (Alright, maybe that's a bit of an issue.) David helps out as much as he can and my kids are so lucky they have a hands on Dad. Being a hairstylist, as well, it has allowed him to have flexibility too. He is also doing online courses to obtain his business degree. Needless to say our plates are full. We love spending time as a family and doing whatever we can together. This is how I know in the end, we'll be alright.
We've had a lot thrown at us lately when it comes to Ava. There's been so much to process and so much planning to do. My heart broke for Ava when I heard about her hip surgery and the spica cast. I was not only crying for this but I was also crying because I realized life goes on. There was other things to deal with. Being a hairstylist allows me so much flexibility but it also has it downfalls. This industry is so different from many others and unfortunately doesn't allow for the perks of others. I had just found out I would need to take several months off work. Yes I love my job but I also work to contribute my part of supporting our family. I work in a commissioned based industry, if I don't work, I don't make a paycheck. If I take months off, my clients will have to go to other stylist. Whenever you take time off there is a chance you will lose a client, what will I have left at the end of this? I find this overwhelming to think about. Many of my clients have been with me for years. They've seen David and I get married, been there for the birth of my children and watched them as they grow. I am so grateful for the love and support they have shown me and I know they will work with me and be flexible but it is still a worry. I still need to help support my family...life goes on.
Work is not my only worry, getting through every day life I find overwhelming. I have another child, how do I find the balance? I need to be there for Ava but I don't want Jack to get lost in the mix. Life doesn't stop because my child is going through a difficult time. In the end I will have to find a balance in it all. I don't like asking for help and I know I will have to learn to. I will also have to learn to give up some control. Today we had a lot going on (things I don't want to share at this time.) The littlest, stupid thing just set me in a tail spin. I had an all out 2 year old fit that included crying, yelling and storming off. Unfortunately it was in front of Ava, not exactly a shining moment for me. Apparently, after storming off she turned to David and said "What's wrong with her?" (Glad to know it didn't affect her at all.) I'm not proud of the way I acted but I do know I'm not handling it all as well as I thought I was. I need to step back and take a deep breath. What I learned today is life will go on if the laundry is not done. Life will go on if my house is a mess. These little things are not all that important. I can not do it all but I can be there for my children. All I can do is do the best I can. Ava will get healthy, she will make it through her surgery fine, she will heal and before we know it she'll be dancing again. A good friend said to me after hearing of her surgery "This is going to be harder on you then it is on her." From what I've seen of Ava so far, it couldn't be more truthful. We will all survive and life will go on.
We've had a lot thrown at us lately when it comes to Ava. There's been so much to process and so much planning to do. My heart broke for Ava when I heard about her hip surgery and the spica cast. I was not only crying for this but I was also crying because I realized life goes on. There was other things to deal with. Being a hairstylist allows me so much flexibility but it also has it downfalls. This industry is so different from many others and unfortunately doesn't allow for the perks of others. I had just found out I would need to take several months off work. Yes I love my job but I also work to contribute my part of supporting our family. I work in a commissioned based industry, if I don't work, I don't make a paycheck. If I take months off, my clients will have to go to other stylist. Whenever you take time off there is a chance you will lose a client, what will I have left at the end of this? I find this overwhelming to think about. Many of my clients have been with me for years. They've seen David and I get married, been there for the birth of my children and watched them as they grow. I am so grateful for the love and support they have shown me and I know they will work with me and be flexible but it is still a worry. I still need to help support my family...life goes on.
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