Sweet Girl

Tonight after bath Ava asked if I could braid her hair. What!?!? Did I hear that right?? I was so excited because she never lets me touch her hair other then blow drying it or flat ironing. Finally I was getting my moment, even though she insistent I put in 5 braids. Sure, I'm  happy you're even asking! So the two of us sat on her bedroom floor and I was braiding away. We had the sweetest (and saddest) conversation...."Mommy I try to walk fast so I can walk better. Sometimes I don't walk funny anymore." My heart felt for her so much at that moment."Oh, Ava. I know you want to walk better but only the doctors can fix your hips." Her response..."Oh, but I try." My mind was going a mile a minute and it took all I had in me to control my emotions. How do I make my little girl understand what was going to happen to her? How do you explain all this to a 4 year old when you can barely digest all the information? I don't want to scare her but I also don't want  her to be surprised. I gently explained that her hips weren't in the right spot and that's why she walks funny. It was not her fault or something she could control, only the doctor could fix it. She just looked at me with such sad eyes and I could tell she was really thinking about what I just told her. In her sweet voice she just said "Oh." I asked "Do you want me to show you what I mean?" "Yes." I had her stand up in front of the mirror and hold her hand out flat. "Why am I doing this? I thought you were going to show me a picture?" Oh Ava...I held her hand and ran it from her waist down to the top of her thigh. "Did you feel how your bone sticks out a little bit?" "Yes." "That's your hip bone and it's not in the right spot. The doctor is going to put it back where it's suppose to be." (I pointed to where the hip should be.) "Okay. When my cast is on I can't go swimming but I can watch Jack, right?" "Yes, Ava. you can." "Okay" and she ran downstairs to watch tv with Jack. Kids are funny, they except what you say and quickly moved on. This conversation lasted about as long as her braids did. I put them in, we took pictures and she decided they needed to come out. When she saw her hair in the mirror all big and wild, she looked at me and said "Your going to have to iron this in the morning." She is my child!!

As I write this and relive our conversation I'm not going to lie, my eyes have welled up several times. I realized tonight Ava must think about her surgery as much as I do. I'm glad she talks about it and asks questions. Almost daily she will ask me something about when she's in her cast. Her main concern has been about friends coming to play with her and what she will be able to do. She has also asked about how she will fit in her car seat and how she will sit up to eat and play games.  I'm hoping our honesty will help her cope and prepare her  for what is ahead. The surgery is 5 weeks away and I'm not really sure any of us will really be ready. Ava is amazing and reminds me every day how strong she is. All I want to do is heal my beautiful little girl and get her as healthy as possible. I pray for the time to go quickly and smoothly. Before we know it we will be on the other side of this where my Princess P is singing and dancing as good as new.