It has been four days since Ava had her cast removed. As thrilled as we are, it has not been as easy as I hoped it would be. Okay I didn't expect miracles and I know that it could be weeks before she walks again but it is definitely harder then I thought. We had made it through the worst of it, right?? I think I may have been wrong about that. Yes the surgeries were hard, dealing with the cast was hard but we adjusted and made our way. Nothing is harder then watching your child in pain. It's heart breaking. We are back on the roller coaster ride, just a different one. During the day Ava does great. She is slowly moving around, bending her knees, pointing and flexing her toes and rolling over. She can pull herself across the room on her bottom using her arms and is doing more and more for herself. She still has to be carried everywhere but often tells us it hurts when lifted. Being put in and taken her out of her car seat is the worst, there is just no good angle to lift her. Ava's legs still lie in the position they were casted because the muscles are so stiff. Her right leg looks the worst due to the knee being slightly rolled in. She is having a difficult time moving it or holding it straight. Nighttime has become a complete nightmare! Ava falls asleep easily but wakes up often during the night screaming of pain. She has not slept well since the cast was removed and last night was the worst! She was up almost every hour! (I think Jack was the only one to get sleep in at our house last night.) Ava screams in pain and says stuff like "It hurts so much!" "This is worse then the cast!" "Make it stop!" A knife right to the heart every time. My poor girl, I would do anything to take the pain away. Please! Please! Please! Let her pain subside soon.
Yesterday David and I took Ava to her first physical therapy session. We met Miss Jill, who Ava seemed to like. She answered any questions that was asked and cooperated for the most part. I think Miss Jill caught on quickly that Ava does not do anything unless it is on her terms. (Oh I hope this lady has patience of a saint because nothing will get accomplished otherwise.) Miss Jill began by asking about Ava's surgeries, casts and her current abilities. Next she measured the movement in Ava's legs. This session was more of evaluation to help miss Jill design the proper PT for Ava. She did a couple of exercises to see where was Ava was at and gave a few suggestions for home. Watching Ava pull herself up holding onto a large cushion with out help made me realize the hard road ahead of her. She has to relearn everything! She has to relearn to use the proper muscles and not to compensate with other muscles the way she has over the last few months. Watching your child struggle with something that came so easily just a short few months ago is heart wrenching but on the other hand the look of pride in Ava's face when she accomplishes the task herself makes my heart soar.
I know like everything else we have gone through after a few days things get better. We adjust and take each day as it comes. On a brighter note Ava is so happy to be able to take a bath again. Lucky for her we have a jacuzzi size tub and she can practically swim in it. She would stay in for hours if we let her and she is so completely happy when splashing in the water. The look of contentment on her face during bath time reminds me everything will be okay. Ava has a rocky road ahead of her but I know like everything else she will rise to the challenge. She will regain strength and regain proper use of all her hip and leg muscles. I look forward to Ava's first steps all over again and being able to pick up my little girl without the screams of pain. And most of all I can't wait to hear the words "Mommy I don't hurt anymore." We are getting there and I'm sure Ava will be healed in no time!
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