Reasons To Be Thankful

It has been 3 weeks since we received the news about Ava's surgery. I've had many emotions and a lot of information to digest. Anyone who knows me, knows I wear my heart on my sleeve and I tend to be an open book. There is no hiding my emotions. I tend to say what I think (thankfully I developed a bit of a filter as I've gotten older) I cry over just about anything, happy, sad, mad or frustrated. It drives David nuts!! I need to get things out so they don't fester inside me. That is one of many reasons I started this blog. I hope somebody can learn from this experience or I can reach out to other resources to help us. I know by sharing so much I open myself up to lots of opinions and advice. And I have gotten my share in the last few months. Some useful some not so much but I am always grateful  someone cared enough to say it.

We started this journey trying to solve Ava's growth problem and ended up stumbling upon a whole other problem. We are still trying to decipher weather the two are connected or not. I look forward to our next appointment with the Endocrinologist in May. Hopefully he can answer some questions we have. I've had a lot of anger as well. Not only did our current pediatrician miss Ava's dislocation, so did our previous pediatrician (practice of 5 doctors) we went to the first year of Ava's life. How does his happen?? I'm letting the anger go because it is not going to change things.Doctors are human and make mistakes. I hate that a huge one was made on my child. We found it now and all we can do is move forward. I will change doctors but right now I can't. Ava currently has 5 specialist. All referral based and will be having surgery in the near future. I can not bare to introduce her to yet another doctor. There are not many choices that take our insurance in the area so while Ava goes through this convenience wins. 

I am thankful for my husband. David and I have been married ten years. Our lives are not perfect and the road has not always been easy. We've made our share of mistakes but I am thankful we have learned from them and have grown closer because of them. We are lucky our difficult times has brought us close and like anything else that has been thrown our way, we will tackle it head on, together. Our children are included in everything we do in life. We will get through this as a family. As David says "Lets not sugar coat this, the next 5-6 months are going to suck!" It will not be easy but we will get through it. We are not the first to go through this and we will not be the last. All we can do is make the best of it.  Over the summer our family started attending church at the prompting of our children. I believe in fate and things happening for a reason. It is true that when going through difficult times you need to have faith, something to believe in. I am still figuring out my belief in God but I do know each Sunday I feel a little better after listening to that weeks sermon. I know it touches my heart when someone comes up to me , weather they know us or not, and says they are praying for Ava and our family. I'm beginning to believe in the power of prayer. There are many things we can not control. I can believe that there is some one watching over us and guiding us along the way. I am thankful for my huge family. We may not see each other all the time. We may not talk all the time. But when times are tough we stick together. I am lucky to have so much family close by. I am thankful for all my friends, new and old. Everyone has been so supportive. It's nice to know so many people are willing to listen even when I'm a mess. We will get through this. 

We decided not to get a second opinion. We saw the x rays, it was clear as day. We did our research, no doctor could tell us any different. It takes forever to get appointments. We do not want to delay the inevitable. The sooner we start this process, the sooner it will be over. Ava will start Kindergarten in the fall of 2013, we want to get her well before then. She is aware she may have to have surgery but we haven't told her about the spica cast. Soon we will prepare her for what is coming her way. On June 2 Ava will be in her first dance recital. I'm sure I will cry the whole time, knowing this is the last time she will dance for minimal of 6 months, possibly a year. On June 12, at Robert Wood Johnson in East Brunswick, our butterfly will undergo her first surgery....

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this. I truly appreciate all the encouraging comments I have received. Please keeping praying. XOXO